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Theme on four notes

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Andrew Bruhelius, Oct 29, 2022.

  1. #1 Andrew Bruhelius, Oct 29, 2022
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2022
    Hi everyone! Thanks for providing the opportunity in this thread to gather critique on compositions. Feel free to shred this one to pieces :)

    https://on.soundcloud.com/VcgiM

    (I used Sibelius and Noteperformer for the most part)

     
  2. #2 Stephen Limbaugh, Oct 31, 2022
    I know the Mahler thing you're going for, but without a properly-sized/readable score it's hard to totally explain why it's not quite working. Part of me thinks you could just outright delete most of the trumpet stuff. Also, it gets to fortissimo way way too early. Those four notes could be repeated in other voices of the texture, utilizing some contrapuntal devices like stretto or augmentation/diminution. After skimming again there are also rapid switches from pizz to arco or hairpins without a dynamic at the end of them... that's like handing a movie script to a producer that's rife with misspelled words.
     
    Andrew Bruhelius likes this.
  3. #3 Andrew Bruhelius, Nov 2, 2022
    @Stephen Limbaugh Thanks for taking some time to listen. Well the score to that was never really properly edited or finalized for a live-player setting. One would need to hand it over to an orchestrator. So this is something that I am still learning, very slowly. But in terms of working out the parts more like you suggested and paying closer attention to consistency in the contrapuntal elements, i would be open to understanding more about what you suggested. I don’t mind to share the score in private message. Not sure, but I think Mahler is a loooong way off. Why, do I sound like him?! Shit. :)
     
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