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Tank-driving-shooting-fugue thing

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Brian Bunker, Jul 6, 2017.

  1. #1 Brian Bunker, Jul 6, 2017
    Long-time Verta-class buyer here - not for any live ones yet, mostly because two kids means that I have more than 20 minutes at one time uninterrupted in the evening just about NEVER. I'm pretty stoked for this forum - if for no other reason than to have a steady stream of Verta-casm (you know, Mike + Sarcasm? Didn't work, right? Well, anyway...) so thought I'd post the last orchestral thing I was working on before we moved this last week.



    There is actually a relatively convoluted story to how this thing came to exist, if anybody's interested in that kind of thing. I was thinking of how in Tank Battles there's this combination of intricacy and brute force - teams have to work in a delicate kind of counterpoint to keep frontal armor pointed to those big cannons, but at the same time the real action will always be decided by masses of lead and high explosive. So, of course, I thought of the first thing anyone else would: a fugue!

    There's a lot of technical stuff that annoys me. The snare drum cadenza between the prelude and the fugue machine-guns (ha - pun!!). The woodwind stretto sounds like four soloists who can't hear each other, and the bassoon barrel-rolls right over the flute entry of the stretto. But - sometimes (like when you need to move your computer to a new house) you just have to pull the plug and call it done (for now.)

    Thanks, friends. Let the critiquery begin!!!
     
    Aaron Venture and Paul T McGraw like this.
  2. #2 Paul T McGraw, Sep 4, 2017
    Nice to see someone else into the more classically oriented approach to sampled music. I like fugues, and this one for sure kept my attention. I like it.
     
  3. #3 Doug Gibson, Sep 5, 2017
    Hey ! Nice to hear one of your pieces. You gave me really useful feedback on my Bass Clarinet concerto which was really cool of you.

    I listened to your piece. I have no idea about tank battles or what that involves, so I may be missing some of the programatic aspects.

    I like a lot about it, but ..... just my opinion (As they say in NYC that and $2.50 will get you a cup of coffee -- $2.50 is what the street vendors sell a cup of coffee for...... which means my opinion is not worth anything) somethings I personally would revise.

    Also since you are a very advanced composer, please know I offer these ideas with utmost respect.

    1. The "fugal" moments are the strongest. I would say from 1:26 to about 2:30, 3:00 to 3:30 and finally 3:52 to 4:01 are the strongest moments in the piece. I would also rank them in that order of strongest on down

    2. I would consider re-ordering the sections, or "save some ammo for your guns". I felt the climax was done by 2;30 and never reached back to that intensity.

    3. background accompaniment too rhythmically regular to hold my attention for all the sections that "drop down". (ie. pizz, harp, snare)

    The more homophonic it becomes the less 3-d it feels. Also more elaboration on the countersubjects and answers.

    Cmamaflague (spelling ??) some of your material. It becomes too transparent and too easy for me to lock into your ideas.

    Shostachovich might be worth studying.....hmmm... let me pick something.

    Ok, this might do. This is movement 2 from Symphony 10. The opening movement has a long fugue (FYI).
    I would say one of the things that makes his work so successful is, while he uses lots of repetition, the momentum and forward motion.
    All the while having "tricks up his sleeve" to make the piece sound too predictable.

    I don't know my comments are of any help. At the very least a fine performance is linked below

    Wish you all the best

    Doug

     
    Gharun Lacy likes this.
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