Speed composition made in a few hours

Hey,

First of all great for submitting a piece. I hope you won't take the feedback personally, I'm just trying to help and point out things which didn't work in my opinion.

Did you write that on piano first? Because it does not really sound like it.
In my feeling the structure in the beginning is a bit off and it becomes not as easy to follow as it could be.

You have a simple statement, which you do twice in the beginning, which is good.
Then we come to some sort of B section with the rhythm changing a bit (which kinda feels like an "empty bar" to me) and then the high strings.
at exactly 0:20 I was expecting to hear the initial statement again, maybe a small change at the end. Instead horns comes in and follow the harmony, which is vertical development and does nothing here.
at 0:25 the exactly same statement comes back, which get's boring by now. Remember what Mike said: The simpler your tune, the sooner you need to change it. Not by much though.
Then the B thingy again.
some more empty bars. The harmony is not changing, you are just building with the strings in octaves.
Now some development, but I am not hooked by the beginning of the song so it's no very effective in my opinion.
0:52 is not that interesting and we heard that before, so it feels kinda empty again. Like filling up time.
0:57 another statement which gets extended. I think that's fine, but I'm still not really connected though.
1:05 I think this is supposed to feel big and building, but it does nothing to me.
1:15 - 1:30 are empty again

I will stop here.

I think what you should do to improve is transcribe something like this:

A high energetic pop song from the 80s, which will translate directly to what you are trying to do here.

Then, on your next piece, start with piano only and write it out in your notation program or record your piano playing. It will help to avoid these empty bars and get you to actually do something.
And then submit this piano sketch and we'll see what else can be improved.

Hope it helps!