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Memory Lane

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Duncan Formosa, Feb 1, 2023.

  1. #1 Duncan Formosa, Feb 1, 2023
    Finished writing this new piece, what do you all think?

    Still trying to figure out how to write my pieces out so this probably looks a little messy but hopefully I'll get better with practice.

     
    Michael Lückgen, David Healey and Tom Welsh like this.
  2. #2 Tom Welsh, Feb 2, 2023
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2023
    Hey Ducnan. I'd say this is a structurally sound and satisfying piece. I recognise the use the of the 'shimmering strings' device (contrary motion arpeggios in celli and violas) and it's a shame the samples don't convey that very well as it would have worked well here. Also the octave pizz celli and bass arps where cool and reminded me of the golden eye theme. The only thing I would want to adjust is the opening oboe statement. I feel the phrasing needs some pauses to allow the melody to breathe :
    upload_2023-2-2_12-9-42.png

    Other than that, this is very solid.
     
    David Healey likes this.
  3. #3 Duncan Formosa, Feb 2, 2023
    Thanks Tom! It's funny, now that you mentioned it and I looked back at the score, that's how it's written for the violins haha. I think I took a break after I wrote the oboe version and then my inner ear heard it the correct way when I got to the violins and I just didn't notice.
     
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