Composing Challenge 1

Thank you very much @Duncan Formosa for taking that much time to give valuable feedback!
I really appreciate it.

I am however a bit confused by what you said.
Let me try to structure it:

1. Resolving the A theme:
This confuses me the most actually. So my progression is C Bbsus2 F Gsus4.
If I understood correctly you say that my A theme should resolve, so you switch the Gsus4 for a C. It works good, but I am not really sure why going to the G is "bad". Isn't like every pop song like this? Like the standard I vi IV V Progression? They end on the V. Is the sus4 the problem here?

2. Random chords:
I was surprised by this since I repeat the A theme twice with little variations in the melody, just as you mentioned. So the basic structure is like AABCA. While the B has a 8bar progression.
I thought of it like like a prechorus (B with 8 bars) and then the chorus (C).
Why do you think it is random? Is the C too much? Is the 8 bar B instead of the established 4bar A theme a problem?

I know that I don't need to do more progressions and move around all the time, but I always kinda want to. Not sure if I tried to shove in too many ideas here...

3. The BTTF progression:
I get that it doesn't really work here. I think I tried to force it. The melodic pattern had to change and it felt a bit out of the song.
But it was fun to discover the progression while playing around

Since you asked for an example of a song, here is one I find really cool which also moves around while being coherent in my opinion:

Hope you can help me clear some stuff up. And thanks again for taking so much time for this!

 

First of all: You don't need to rush. Answer whenever you have some spare time. I can also wait for some days, no need to worry.

And now to your answer:
Okay I get now that it's more about the melody rather than the chords for the A theme, right?

But still I don't think I agree with this one. Or at least I can't see why it feels not like a complete phrase. The chord progression combined with the melody seem fine to me. Even the melody on its own. But then again I'm too close to the song to see/hear how it feels by now.

The feedback I got from someone who usually is very very critical was that its great. So it would be interesting if it's more of a bias of you maybe or if I'm missing something.
Also was it like nonsense to you like I played it or are we talking about micro optimizations here? Would be good to know!

 

Thanks man ! I haven't had much time lately to work on music but I will try to orchestrate it as soon as I can.

 

That definitely helped me!

I was not aware that moving the bass notes to another chord tone would change that much. For me it was just adding a little bit more interest, like Mike and you said: changing it up just a little the second time around.
I think I tried to do too much in one minute all at once. When I saw that I could move the bass like that I wanted to use it.

I did transcribe that piece actually month ago. But in my mind the bass note was always kind of interchangeable. But this makes totally sense now.

Well that is great to know. Now I think I can stretch one idea even longer

Thank you for taking the time and the nerves to giving feedback and helping me out!

 

I've been meaning to give some feedback in return on this. If you keep up this kind of stuff I am going to run out of combinations of words to say how much I like your melodic ideas. I think I've already said it a few times, but IMO you have a serious gift for melody. Maybe they are not quite earworms yet (which is he holy grail and something I can only dream of), but it's very close. It has that warm, safe, familiar feel and it's just a breeze to follow as a listener.

My only thought listening to this piece and trying it on the piano is that I think you could perhaps use a little more movement in the accompaniment. But perhaps only as a development (look at me giving you development advice haha). I think there's an orchestral version of this piece which could maybe start with voicing the chords you played outright and then the repeat could have them played with more movement to sort of give a swell to the whole thing, if that makes any sense?

 

Hey guys. I know I'm a little late to this thread but I have done my own pedal note composition for your consideration :

Sorry for my dreadful / sloppy keyboard technique or lack thereof.






Edit : just noticed the melody over the c7 before the F is different to what I played.