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Can I get away with this?

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Jeff Hayat, Dec 22, 2023.

  1. #1 Jeff Hayat, Dec 22, 2023
    Hi all :)

    Just wondering what others' opinions are. Too close, or not?



    And excuse the lack of orchestration :)
     
  2. #2 Mike Verta, Dec 23, 2023
    Too close to what? Either way, it's unfocused or missing stuff. You have two sentence fragments there, brother. Do it purely on piano first to reveal its Truth.
     
  3. #3 Michael Lückgen, Dec 23, 2023
    I think it's a variation from independence day?
     
  4. #4 Jeff Hayat, Dec 23, 2023
    Too close to what?

    Each other.

    Sorry if that wasn't clear; thought it would be.

    The first 7 sec is something I wrote, and the 2nd half is from Independence Day. Yes, my half is missing stuff, but that doesn't matter. The melodies are either too close, or they aren't too close, regardless of having more stuff or less.

    Here they are on piano:



    Thanks.
     
  5. #5 Tom Welsh, Dec 27, 2023
    It's similar but only the first bar and then you go off into your own thing so I don't think anyone would really notice or care.
     
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