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Am I doing too much?

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Duncan Formosa, Nov 8, 2020.

  1. #1 Duncan Formosa, Nov 8, 2020
    I started working on this piece with the idea that I'd try and keep to the same melodic idea as much as possible and see what I can do to keep it interesting for a long period of time. Sketched it on the piano, pretty happy with it and started orchestrating it a few days ago.

    I was happy with my progress up until I started listening to it a couple of times and now I'm not sure if maybe I'm changing up the orchestration too quickly? I wanna say I'm maybe throwing too many changes in the orchestration cause I didn't feel it was too bad in the piano sketch, but maybe I've just been working on it too long.

    It's still a work in progress, the orchestration is very bare near the end and there's another section of the piece still to be recorded, but the meat of the piece is there, so I'm hoping someone can maybe point out if it's a problem with the piece as a whole or if it's just too many orchestration ideas being thrown in.

    Any advice would be much appreciated

     
    Martin Hoffmann likes this.
  2. #2 Martin Hoffmann, Nov 8, 2020
    For what it's worth (not much given my lack of experience, but here goes anyway), I think you're not far off, but at 0:30 I think you're adding too much, and then at 0:53 I was expecting a whole lot more. I thought it's a really nice tension buildup towards a forceful part, with dropping to just horns for a moment at 0:50 to increase the impact of when the other sections join in, but then that didn't happen and I felt a bit let down. My gut feeling is that the middle part needs some low strings underneath or something like that, that gives it more weight and body. If you drop that again for the last part at 1:21, I think it would make the piece overall more satisfying. Other than that I quite like it as it is already.
     
    Duncan Formosa likes this.
  3. #3 Duncan Formosa, Nov 8, 2020
    Should I drop the strings and woodwinds at 0:30 and save those colours for later? I think that's maybe what's feeling a bit too much since it's been chords up until that point. Could stick with strings and trombones doing chords and just let those build up.

    0:53 I agree, it's not having the same impact I would like for some reason. At the moment I have the horns, trumpets and violins and oboes in 3 octaves which I thought would be enough. Maybe I should have cellos and trombones in the same octave as the horns? I haven't doubled tuba with the double bass at that point, trying to save the low end for 0:59

    1:06 onwards I haven't really finished yet, just got the main areas down. I think I have an idea what the cellos can do rhythmically that I think could work but we'll see. I was intending on just posting this when it was done but was starting to get afraid that maybe I was already changing things too much that the piece became hard to follow and unsatisfying, didn't think it would be worth finishing if I might need to just go back to the piano and re-think it all.
     
  4. #4 Doug Gibson, Nov 8, 2020
    Do you have a score you could post? It would let me give you more detailed feedback.

    Upon first listen: It simply sounds unfinished.

    If you are worried about too much variety, then find ways to increase continuity.

    More concerning for me, and it's impossible to answer your question, is from about: 30 seconds on it sound like people are walking out of the session. It's just place-holders from 1 min onwards.

    One thing I would recommend: Get a blank piece of paper, lie down (or sit on a comfy couch), close your eyes, and try and use your inner ear.

    With the blank paper (Not music paper) try and plot out the orchestration. Use either words or graphic images.
     
    Duncan Formosa and Martin Hoffmann like this.
  5. #5 Duncan Formosa, Nov 8, 2020
    Hey Doug,

    I don't have the score written out yet, I'm still trying to figure the orchestration out. The track isn't finished yet, I thought by posting the work in progress I might be able to rework any issues just now.

    Thinking about it now I probably should have just finished recording everything down first and then learn what not to do for the next piece or do it again from scratch.

    Think the lesson learned right now is no point panicking about something that's not finished yet...just need to get it done and then learn from the mistakes after.
     
  6. #6 Martin Hoffmann, Nov 8, 2020
    Yeah, that sounds good.


    Minus the piece of paper part, that's kind of how I arrived at the conclusions of my feedback, but so far I'm unable to employ that approach to things I write myself. Maybe months or years later it sometimes works, but never while I'm still working on something.
     
    Duncan Formosa likes this.
  7. #7 Doug Gibson, Nov 9, 2020
    Or get out of your comfort zone. I bet you don't often write out the score. This would be a good spot to try something new.
    See how your work-flow and results change.

    Don't give up on your piece yet. It's not even done.
     
    Manuel Cervera, Martin Hoffmann and Duncan Formosa like this.
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