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Hi Bjarke, I would suggest to simplify a little bit the accompaniment in the first section because it's kind of fighting against the main melody and as a listener I can't lock into it. Also, in bar 7 you made a little variation in the rhythm and it sounds weird. If you listen to the first 30 seconds of the Raider's March you will notice that the accompaniment is always the same and also they go down in dynamic when melody comes in, leaving some space

 

I'm struggling to give feedback here.

I agree with Carlos that the rhythm change is off-putting.

The samples sound harsh. That's not noteperformer is it? If not you should probably switch.

After your B section you have an "empty" bar (bar 15). Although this can be good for some breathing, I like here it is not necessary and would be better to start right away with you theme again. Might be worth a try at least.

As for your development: I see that you did changes in the melody. But I were not able to hear them as a listener. That might be because you have not locked in the idea enough.
You see on your first A you do the theme one way, then instantly modulate. And then the second bar of the theme is changed also. This feels like only one statement of your theme. So you could repeat the "full theme" again after that and then move on to your B, or you repeat the A more directly at the start (maybe just a little change at the end) to really lock it in.
Actually, after hearing the piece a few times I think I only really remember the first and third bar of your melody at all, as if the second wouldn't even exist. (But I can remember parts of the tune and that's a good sign for your theme)

I noticed that you are at ff in your orchestration quite often. You could try to mark every dynamic one marking down. The sound of the instruments (even vsts) should change and it could sound better in the end. You can always boost the volume later.

Hope that's somewhat helpful