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"With Trembling Hands" orchestral (seeking feedback)

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Kaan Akalin, Jul 19, 2019.

  1. #1 Kaan Akalin, Jul 19, 2019
    Hello,

    I'm working on this film score style track and would love to hear any brutally honest feedback on the composition or orchestration. I am concerned it might drag in some places or lose the connection with the listener. If you have any suggestions on specific parts or even general comments, I would greatly appreciate it!

    Thanks for listening!

     
    Sylvain Provenzano likes this.
  2. #2 Doug Gibson, Jul 20, 2019
    Hey !

    The recording sounds very nice. Well done on the production side.

    In a lot of ways this can't be commented on too accurately as we don't see the moving image. Is this actually a cue for a film or a stand alone piece in a "film music" style ?

    If stand alone...... my first impressions

    Good news : Mood is set right away. Nice sounds and timbre with choir, bowed metal, piano. echos of Thomas Newman (Rev Road, shaw shank)
    I like the almost Hermann- like section around 1:30.

    Bad news : As a stand alone piece it does not answer - for itself- a bigger "why". Nothing really feel inevitable. That's a hard one to describe in text.
    The timpani, and brass seem at times random or forced. Maybe there is something in a film that requires this. For example 3:24 just feels like a "photo bomb" with the timp, and then you do it again. Actually the whole ....rhythmic aspect seems clashing from this 3:24. I think you are trying to do like Beethoven 7 mov 2. The timbre's are getting all muddy IMO.

    Really, I would say ....after listening a second time...... you just have too many ideas.

    I wrote a piece about 10 years ago in a similar style. So I know what it's like, and also what I would totally do different now.

     
    Paul T McGraw and Kaan Akalin like this.
  3. #3 Kaan Akalin, Jul 20, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2019
    Thank you so much for this great feedback, Doug! And that's a really lovely piece you shared. You're right, it has a similar vibe.

    This track of mine is part of a work-in-progress soundtrack for a feature film script I wrote that I'm planning to make as an audio narrative with music (released as a podcast). I'm working a little backwards on this, working on the music first as standalone tracks with a plan to modify them later as needed.

    I think I get what you mean about inevitability; that the climax needs to feel like a natural extension and culmination of the material that led to it. So, right now it feels like there's not enough in common between the various parts, and the digressions the song makes don't take us to places that reinforce the main melodic idea or don't lead to rhythmic ideas that reinforce.

    I will study more brass that I like. Yeah, it feels a bit clumsy in parts and I'm trying to figure out why.

    About the "too many ideas" note, I think you're bang on. One thing I tried, which was maybe a mistake, was restating themes/melodies from other cues in this work in progress soundtrack, in order to tie them all together. So, I wonder if that made this particular track veer off into the territory of those additional ideas. Perhaps I could cleave out some of the section from 2:55 onward that tread the territory of the other themes.

    Here are the two other cues that express the main theme and I was trying to work that into the current track, but maybe it's not necessary.





    I think I might need to let this track cool, while I study and analyze some other music, before figuring out how to improve it more specifically.

    Thanks again, Doug! I really appreciate you sharing your keen observations and musical expertise. Seriously. Thanks!
     
  4. #4 Doug Gibson, Jul 21, 2019
    Well........ if you don't know these works already, a great lesson in them.

    If you make it to about the 6:55 mark ...... I think this is similar to what you are trying to do. Having two contrasting ideas juxtaposed on each other.




    Really any of the motivic masters are worth a look



    or



    From the film music world, as I mentioned I felt echos of




    or

     
    Paul T McGraw and Kaan Akalin like this.
  5. #5 Kaan Akalin, Jul 21, 2019
    Thanks so much, Doug! Thomas Newman is a big influence for me. And that movement by Beethoven is my favourite. Will listen carefully to everything here. I really appreciate your advice and honest opinions.

    Thanks again
     
  6. #6 Paul T McGraw, Jul 25, 2019
    This was a very interesting discussion. Great feedback @Doug Gibson.
     
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