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Short film score

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Jure Jerebic, Jun 23, 2019.

  1. #1 Jure Jerebic, Jun 23, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2019
    Hi guys,

    I'm participating in a competition for scoring a short film, thought might as well ask for feedback here, as you guys know how hard we wanna work to deliver as best as we can.





    Thanks!
    Jure
     
  2. #2 Daniele Nasuti, Jun 23, 2019
    I think you should put that wonderful final part (from 5,58 to the end) also at the beginning, so you will at first attract the listener who will feel interesting your music and will continue to listen.
    Because as it is now I wouldn't have listen more than 30 seconds of this, sorry. I listened only because you're a composer of this forum and I wanted to help you if I could.

    Now you should put a bit (2 or 4 or 8 bars) of that part at the beginning but with a simple arrangement, only for intrigue the listener and make sure in this way that he will listen all music until the end.
    I think this is one of the best advices and a thing that too few people understand.

    (I'm not working yet with music and I can't say I am a super professionist, but I think if you do this your piece will be so much better.)
    Best wishes for the competition!!
     
    Jure Jerebic likes this.
  3. #3 Jure Jerebic, Jun 23, 2019
    Thanks! I’ll put the video version tomorrow, so you get a better idea :)
     
  4. #4 Jure Jerebic, Jun 24, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2019
    Here it is with video:

     
    Benjamin Maisonet likes this.
  5. #5 Benjamin Maisonet, Jun 24, 2019
    Leaving aside the abysmal acting:

    You have a lot of great ideas here. I feel like your solo cello sample is letting you down a bit at around the 1:18 second mark. It lacks character and emotion IMO.

    Beautiful piano at 1:55.

    Love that moment at 3:14 where the emotion changes states. It's very clear and speaks to the emotion of the film in that moment.

    I'm not so sure about the moment and emotion around 4:30. I feel like you might need to go deeper with the emotional depth of the heartbreak she experienced and the betrayal at the end. I didn't really feel it as much in the music as they tried (terribly) to express in the acting.
     
    Jure Jerebic likes this.
  6. #6 Jure Jerebic, Jun 24, 2019
    I talked to Paul, he gave me some fantastic tips from short scoring point of view, also as a director, so will be changing it a bit here and there (including the cello sample probably, this one comes from British Drama Toolkit). He said the same thing about the 4:30 mark. Great feedbacks!
     
  7. #7 Jure Jerebic, Jun 26, 2019
    EDIT: I updated the track and the video with second version.
     
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