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Need help improving the orchestration of this piece

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Thomas van der Burg, Sep 18, 2017.

  1. #1 Thomas van der Burg, Sep 18, 2017
    Hey guys, I created a short orchestral track. I know it can be a lot better on the mix departement, but I'd love to hear some tips for improving the orchestration of this track. I know it has a lot of strings but I'm not sure how to reduce that without making it less epic.

    Thanks in advance and if you need more information like sheetmusic or something i'll be happy to give that/
    !
     
    Phillip J. Faddoul likes this.
  2. #2 Mike Verta, Sep 18, 2017
    Before you worry about orchestration, you need to work on the composition. This is a one-minute run-on sentence. We cannot just string ideas together, no matter how pleasant they sound, with no clearly established pattern or purpose and expect anyone to be interested in what we have to say. You have a motivic statement from 0-0:10, then a different one from :10 to :21 then a different one from :21-:31 (Or, a this may be a longer idea from :10-:31), but in either case you then abandon them and do something similar but not cohesively connected from there to the end.

    When we give a speech, we have to clearly present an idea, and a compelling one at that. We have to keep orienting the audience as to how what we're saying relates to that first idea; builds on it; develops it. If we establish a strong enough connection, we can then branch out to related topics and the audience will understand how they continue to relate the main topic. Saying, "Love is only evidenced by acts. We must believe in ourselves. Respect must be earned not demanded. We should earn forgiveness for our failures, not seek them..." These are all perfectly nice-sounding statements. They just don't together say anything cohesive; it's just a collage of ideas, and it will get boring and fatiguing very, very quickly.
     
    Phillip J. Faddoul likes this.
  3. #3 Thomas van der Burg, Sep 18, 2017
    Thanks for the response Mike, it's amazing how responsive you are, and how willing to help everyone here :)

    I maybe should have given a little background information. I made this piece for a challenge on a facebook group. You'd had to make a track of max 1 minute, in a style of a certain composer. That's the reason why it is only one minute long and feels more like a summary of a track. I do agree I might have tried to fit in too many idea's, but I feel like that is what John Powell is doing alot too, lot's of different chord progressions going all over the place. Staying true to it being a one-minute piece, how could i make the statements more cohesive?

    And I know: Composition > Orchestration, but I am still curious about the orchestration :oops:
     
  4. #4 Sam Miller, Sep 19, 2017
    Ditto what Mike said. You move to your next idea so quickly, and without a throughline, that I never get a chance to lock onto anything in the piece. Keeping with Mike's narrative analogy, what you've done feels like an "and then this happened" kind of story.

    To make it more cohesive there are a couple of things you could try. The first is to establish at least one idea - let the audience hear it and play it twice so that they can know it's a pattern. This will give them a foothold and give you something to keep them with you as you duck and weave. Secondly, as you change the piece bring that idea with you. That can help the audience follow along with you.
     
  5. #5 Phillip J. Faddoul, Sep 20, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2017
    Hi @Thomas van der Burg . There's definitely some decent ideas in there! But It's just too random... First thing that stuck out, was that It starts in 6, for only the first 10 seconds, then suddenly jumps to 4, with a whole new idea.. It's really jarring.. and then there's something different again for the ending.. And what happened to that rhythmic ostinato idea and the little flute melody from the first 10 seconds?? You could honestly get a whole piece of music out of those first 10 seconds... Maybe that other idea that you've got, between 10sec - 32sec could be used as a B section. But have your main idea centered around those first 10 seconds. Here's an idea that I quickly mocked-up for you, using your initial ideas, and basically doing what I just explained. Just to give you an idea of what I'm actually talking about. Hope this is helpful!
     
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