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What happens next?

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Duncan Formosa, Jun 12, 2023.

  1. #1 Duncan Formosa, Jun 12, 2023
    I started sketching out this idea in musescore. I think it's got potential, but I'm not really sure where to take it next. So, I thought it might be a cool idea to throw it out there, see what images it brings to peoples minds and maybe some of you could pitch the next part of the story for me to try and score.

     
    Sinethemba Gwadiso, David Healey, Michael Lückgen and 1 other person like this.
  2. #2 Michael Lückgen, Jun 13, 2023
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2023
    I saw an opening scene. Introducing the landscape with a flight over the sea to the green hills of Ireland.
    0:30 The protagonist riding on a horse on the open green fields. Determined but with concern on his face.

    Maybe he is on his way to the king (maybe medieval time) to warn him that their beautiful homeland is in danger.
     
  3. #3 Carlos Riesco, Jun 13, 2023
    The first 30 seconds reminds me Rocky waking up early in the morning to start training, but the other 30 seconds not so much, although maybe that final crescendo could lead to the start of the fight or some more intense section
     
  4. #4 Matthias Calis, Jun 29, 2023
    It very much seems to be setting up for a more intense section. However, I could see a more reflective section work just as well. My mind goes toward something that is perhaps quieter in dynamics but maybe more intense in terms of motion. This motion could propel the listener forward to a grander, fuller statement of theme.
     
  5. #5 Duncan Formosa, Jul 14, 2023
    Been going round in circles with the western theme. So I thought I'd take a break and expand on this track instead for a bit. I think it's developing quite well. Though the sounds are still super rough out of musescore. Once I know where the piece is going I'll try and record it properly. What does everyone think so far? Do you think the piece should keep going or should I work on the ending next?

    Also, don't know why but I'm finding that when using the new musescore samples there's a few times where it starts to go out of time which is a bit annoying. Especially that woodwind solo.
     
  6. #6 Michael Lückgen, Jul 14, 2023
    1:00 flute solo sounds weird. This may be just the sound, but the melodic variation in this part isn't that interesting to begin with in my opinion.
    1:15 I like this part
    1:30 This may be just me, but I was bored at this point with the melody and/or the progression
    1:46 this was interesting again

    I think the melody in 1:00 and 1:30 could be better. If you want to keep it anyway, then 1:30 should maybe have a bit more variation in my opinion.

    It feels like the super hero is on his way to save the day. He has some time for reflection (1:00). Then his friends arrive (1:15) and they are doing their heroic stuff (1:30).

    I think the piece can end at this point. Espacially if you have not more to say right now.
    I'm sure you could keep going for at least an hour with modulations and variations, but what is it that you actually want to say?

    I would think that instead of becoming more loud and keep being heroic at 1:30, maybe it is time for some drama?
    Where are the antagonists? Where is the danger?
    Or is it another story? If they are saving the day or already have, then there is no more drama and it can end after 2:19. But I think if you want to keep going, then a dramatic change should be at 1:30, at least for me.

    I know your intention with this thread is that you add sections to this piece without knowing where to go beforehand, but I think it would be wiser to know where to go, in order to have more engaging dramatic arch.

    Hope it helps.
     
  7. #7 Duncan Formosa, Jul 14, 2023
    The intention of the thread wasn't really to randomly add sections without knowing where to go, but more to try and get a sense at what people are seeing when they hear the piece and where they think the story is going to go so I can have a better understanding where to take the piece to try and develop it.

    I had a friend of mine give me a prompt that kick started the whole thing which was something along the lines of "the character has to fulfil a destiny that they are reluctant to carry out as it means they have to leave everything that they know behind." So that part is supposed to be the first minute or so.

    Then, Matthias said
    So, I thought "okay, this hero is venturing outside the walls which he has never been through before. He doesn't know what to expect out here."

    0:57 - He's standing outside the gates of his city, he sees nothing out of the ordinary yet. Just large open fields and a path. So, he slowly starts venturing forth. A little unsure of himself. I thought the woodwind section helped add a bit of playfulness to this little stroll outside the gates while the strings start adding this sense of motion going.

    1:15 - When the strings kick in I was hoping to add this sense of beauty to the world. A kind of "hey, this ain't so bad really"

    1:30 - The theme of this quircky travelling music gets interrupted when he reaches a new part of the world that is bigger, more dangerous and definitely more foreign to him. As he sees all this new stuff that he's going to have to traverse he has the "ah...so it's not going to be that easy after all" kind of moment.

    1:46 - Was seeing this as a bit of a montage of him going through the land (think kind of like prince charming in the opening of Shrek 2)

    And that's as far as I've got.
     
  8. #8 Michael Lückgen, Jul 14, 2023
    Ah I see. Then I missunderstood the intention of this thread.

    I think the music fits pretty well to what you have described. But the 1:30 part feels rather heroic, instead of dangerous or uncertain to me. There is no "Can I really make it?", no doubts, no fear. It feels more like "Okay, I'm ready for this!" with a smirk on the face.
    Funny, that without knowing what it is suppossed to be, I was missing more drama at this specific part before.

    But nice piece so far!
     
  9. #9 Duncan Formosa, Jul 14, 2023
    Maybe dangerous isn't the word I'm looking for. It is supposed to be more of a heroic theme. He's not battling monsters or anything like that. More like "oh, okay, leisurely strole through the fields is over now I guess" and now he's climbing mountains, treading through hot desert sand, that kind of thing. Filled with sheer determination to get to where he needs to go kind of thing.

    But, I suppose this does point out a problem with the piece if I have to explain the story. The music should really speak for itself!
     
  10. #10 Michael Lückgen, Jul 14, 2023
    I don't think there is some fundamental problem with this piece. Espacially the beginning fits to what I had in my mind. Of course not exactly that, but there is some sort of "weight of destiny" to the music which fits perfectly.
    The same feeling is conveyed, but this feeling can fit to different scenarios.

    However, as a listener (without knowing the story and unintentionally trying to rewrite it) I was hoping for something a bit more dramatic at the 1:30 part. Some change.
    Maybe just a subtle change, which adds a little bit more uncertainity to it would help? If he slips while climbing it can be really dangerous after all.
     
  11. #11 Daniele Nasuti, Aug 13, 2023
    seems Morricone's style (but the end), and something like Michael Kamen from 80s/ 90s
    I like it. This would be a very good main title, or some where the protagonist reach new capacities or level, a new better life..

    That crescendo in the end is kind of out of topic compared to the rest of music here, like if the piece was from a very good film (those from Morricone or Kamen) and the end instead is like modern action films....
     
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