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The Battle

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Duncan Formosa, May 17, 2021.

  1. #1 Duncan Formosa, May 17, 2021
    Went back to a piece that I had started some time last year. I think this is starting to sound pretty good. A few sections I'm not sure about but there's some ideas I think that are quite good. Let me know what you all think :)

     
    Cody Ortz likes this.
  2. #2 Bjarke Tan, May 18, 2021
    I think you are really great at comming up with melodic material but i feel like the transitions between sections could use some work the change feel too sudden (at 0:55 and around 2:07) I think the problem is that it feel like the mood of the piece changes too quickly in those sections.
    The tittle feel a little cliche but that's just my impression on first listen otherwise you do a great job as always.
     
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  3. #3 Duncan Formosa, May 18, 2021
    Interesting, I thought if anything, the parts you thought would be the most abrupt would be 1:23 and 1:38. I was thinking that the build up before 0:55 and 2:07 went on long enough that I could switch it up. Do you have any ideas how this could be smoothed out?

    I agree, it absoloutely is. Couldn't think of anything else to call it though. I hate trying to name tracks.
     
  4. #4 Bjarke Tan, May 18, 2021
    it may be better if you keep some of the mood from the previous section not just the melodic parts but also the mood part i just don't think its a good idea to change the mood too quickly.
    It's like if you where watching a comedy movie and all of the sudden it became a horror movie if you where to change it into a horror it may make more sense to have qualities of a comedy as well that way the transition becomes smoother than just from comedy straight to horror.

    I would recomend to study this piece and how it all feel connected when new sections begins.

    It tries to do something similar that you do with your piece but It starts slow and emotional and really takes it's time before it finally becomes "epic" in the end.
     
  5. #5 Duncan Formosa, May 18, 2021
    Just compared your example to the piece that inspired me to write this one. Having listened to it again I think I understand what you mean.

    This is the thing I was triyng to go for but it does build up a lot like the apes track you sent.



    Will shelf this idea just now and see what I can do with it later down the road and start it from scratch. My plan is to get as many pieces out this year and then re-visit them all next year and (hopefully) improve them with all the feedback I've been getting on the forums.

    Thanks for your feedback Bjarke!
     
    Bjarke Tan likes this.
  6. #6 Cody Ortz, May 20, 2021
    I agree 100% with this. The material is really great, but it is very "sectional." This is something I struggle with all this time in my pieces—the "through-line" that connects section to section and develops horizontally. It's really tough to get, but when you do stumble upon it it's a game-changing thing.
     
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