Muzak

This is very lovely! The flute and harp make a very nice combination, and your harmonies compliment it well.

 

Staying motivated is a problem. It is a problem I am also faced with right now. I wonder how Ives (whose music I detest) kept motivated to write so much music in secret.

We composers all have an urge to be creative. Is it possible to get rid of that urge to be creative completely? I don't think so. I am really looking forward to hearing your next piece.

 

Lovely piece! I really like the harmonic language and the direction, I'm looking forward to hearing more of your compositions!

I'm really sorry you had to deal with depression, I couldn't even fathom what it must be like and I commend you for taking action and writing more music. I definitely agree with you, taking small steps is probably the best way to grow and grow over a period of times.

I found myself that every time I spend some time not writing any music, starting again is extremely daunting: it's never a good time to compose, and I know I will never make something that is as great as I want it to be. The only way I consistently come out of it is to vomit out some small piece of music, and allow it to be a piece of crap. You have of course way more experience than I do, as I'm an amateur composer and I've been only seriously writing music for 4-5 years max. However it seems like I've always been able to move forward best if I treated it like I was a kid in the playground. If I start to take the whole thing too seriously, then I'd probably start judging myself way harder for the music that I write, which would very quickly spiral out of control. "I will have time tomorrow to write a masterpiece, today this will do"

Like anything else, the more you study a subject, the more you understand how many things you don't know about it, which for sure complicates things. You probably know this better than I do (you have 10x my experience), but I found out that just writing some "crappy" without caring about the end result usually helps unblock things. The nice thing is that if you write "crappy" music for your standards, it will still sound nice because you know your stuff

Don't know if this is helpful at all, but I really look forward to hear more of your music, I was blown away by some of your pieces (the Bass Clarinet Concerto to name one) and it'd be great to hear more from you!

 

Good job finally getting back in the ring Doug! I like the piece, just wish it was longer . Give us more!

Did that work?

I know the feeling all too well. Not just for music, everything creative really. From what I can tell it's not uncommon at all among creatives, and there seems to be a tendency for people to like their own creations more once some weeks have passed. Though for me that doesn't quite seem to work that way.

Yikes! I don't think that's supposed to happen. Maybe you'd be better off with another brand of SSRI? Or even a different kind of antidepressant altogether?
Or if you have a fucked up blood vessel in your nose, an otolaryngologist (hope the dictionary gave me the right term there) might be able to cauterize it once so that it doesn't happen again. I had something similar once. Didn't bleed that often though.

Can you pinpoint what's causing it for you?

I was thinking about doing this and reading that it actually works for you made me actually start it. Maybe we should collect these in a thread called "Lets stop worrying and write some bad music!" or something like that?

 

@Martin Hoffmann it is hard for me to stay motivated due to my health. I have cancer, and on top of that, I was in the hospital for half of October due to heart failure.

 

Best wishes for better health to all of my friends and mentors. You guys have shared so much and deserve so much better. Despite the obstacles, you guys are still writing and sharing so that's really admirable, and probably some of the best medicine.

 

Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that Paul! It's quite understandable that this impacts your ability and motivation to compose. I had hoped it'd be something in the realm where I could offer some advice, but I fear my heartfelt best wishes for your recovery is all I can offer. Take care, and I hope we'll read and hear more from you now that you're back.

+1, couldn't have said it better!

Yeah, I think that was exactly what I needed! So here is my crappy blackmetal song of the day:



@Doug Gibson: Hope you don't mind me posting here. I'll be happy to move this to its own thread if you want!

 

Doug, I really like that piece and in fact wanted it to go on. It made me think of being in a dim cool basement lounge late at night with some hepcats doing some mellow jamming on flute and harp. Interesting how both those instruments not usually associated with jazzy stuff are so good for it, somewhat like the (French) horn which can really swing when loosened up from its classical straitlaced rigor.

I also get totally depressed and it isn't just being sad. All things become absolutely meaningless. But I really think it's good to write something, or do something creative, anything at all, and you can derive real energy from that even when it's completely simple. Also using your unconscious mind may accomplish more than you realize consciously and create the seed of something great.